Love yourself with any appearance, then the appearance can be any!
• Love yourself with any appearance, then the appearance can be any!
We publish stunning post Michael Labkovsky, family psychologist, dedicated to women's appearance and self-esteem.
I watch as a beautiful floor in a frenzy over the alleged beating shortcomings of their appearance. Men also sometimes fight, but not so selfless - it is not so important to be beautiful, how to earn money.
Women are torturing yourself diets and exercise machines, prick in the face of horrible, heels are terrible. It's okay. But the plastic! The surgeon's knife! Such mockery is equal to masochism, and those who do it just unfortunate victims, willing to do anything, as long as they liked. Absolutely. Yes, any manipulation of your appearance from tanning to liposuction is a demonstration of self-doubt and a step on the way to the narcissistic disorders. And it is very unpleasant disorder, when life is not sweet, without universal and every minute of approval and admiration better, and even better adoration.
The worst thing that the victims of the beauty industry measure of self-esteem is not appearance, and the presence or absence of a partner of certain parameters. Speaking of partners: the lower the self-esteem of men, the greater the importance it attaches to the exterior of a wife or a mistress. Confident it is almost do not care.
I do not understand why tolerate, for example, painful injections of Botox, when the whole world history, science and everyday experience downright screaming about what your appearance (as well as high moral character) does not play in love, attraction, sex and relationship to us by others. There's another trick. Below I tell you what.
Well, all the know on whom he married and who loved John Lennon - a man who could choose any woman in the world. And now remember Yoko Ono. Appearance has a very peculiar even to the Japanese taste.
A Makkkartni Paul and Heather Mills? This girl is not even one leg, but she was able to marry his one of the wealthiest and bridegrooms jaded world. (Even rob him).
Go ahead - take a look at the men, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez or wives Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman, Woody Harrelson. And Woody Allen's last wife? Not about beauty - that's for sure.
At the same time, many around the beautiful and very unhappy people. And the most beautiful (okay, most sexy) woman on earth, that dreamed of 90% of the male population of the planet, whose portrait was worn in the breast pocket of the US Army soldiers in Vietnam - Marilyn Monroe died of loneliness and isolation. And in general I had a bunch of psychological problems. It Marilyn said: "I used to be happy because happiness is not considered something to make a point."
Hence the question: so you want to be beautiful or happy? If the second - must work not on appearance but on self-esteem. Love yourself with any appearance, and then your appearance can really be any! It's the law. "... you loved us little black, a little white we just love," as it is written in Gogol.
You see, the exterior - a very subjective concept. APPEARANCE - It's just something that you feel looking at yourself in the mirror ... "I like myself" or "I do not like myself" - that is the question.
Yes, love is like and dislike to him do not arise out of nowhere, and all this from childhood - hello parents. If the person does not suffer when it rejected, if it is a priori sure must like people, and this must be good - of course, that he has no idea about the absolute (and only real) love. This mom and dad loved oh not for nothing! Not for the fact that he was born and is in the world ... They did not kiss his ass and did not say that he is the most beautiful baby in the world. Nooo. Directly or indirectly, they have brought to him a false idea of goodness, from which it follows that love must be earned and deserve better day. And for that ... "I'll be a great hostess, learn to cook, I'll look like a candy cane, and then someone will make out my" human "talent" - so says, not necessarily loud, most Russian women. My dear! No you do not fall in love for luxurious lashes soup with cutlet and docile nature. Loved for more! As the saying goes, "Good girls go to heaven and bad where they want."
Besides, if I did not understand how to behave abnormally when you want to like stupid? Behind this behavior is absolutely impossible to make out what people really, but you can always capture the voltage and read the frustration and dissatisfaction. All normal people it's alarming and repulsive.
And self-confidence on the contrary - attracts and does not let go. But not only in the matter of confidence. I happened to love, love, passion, man has what is called a "hook." And clings not the ideal shape of the nose, flat belly or beautiful hair (except for the first point, which may be all and end). Unconsciously touches something from childhood, association, similarity, smell, gesture, manner pull the button, voice, word, some detail that resembles the parental home and the parent - of the opposite sex. This association, by the way, does not necessarily have to be happy. And here are powerless against it all the tricks, plastic, clothes and virtue ...
For love there is no appearance, only the character, "egg", will, faithful to itself. Once it is in short supply in the world. Only it is of interest, respect, desire.
And if you do all this is not enough, one way out - to be themselves. To develop their personality and personal qualities. Do not compromise. Well, at least not to mock at him, did not behave like a victim! And it is better to follow their desires, aspirations, dreams. Cultivate their difference from others, and nothing in itself is not shy.
Okay, say a little ugly chuvachok, you say is true, and I subscribe to every word, and I can still read it a hundred times, but the confidence I did not add. What to do? To which I answer, that of self-acceptance in the form in which you have - of course, we have to work. Well, for example, try to give yourself the maximum psychological comfort, to respect their wishes, to devote some time (and money), try to enjoy life, to feel its taste, rasprobovat, enjoy.
The goal is to fill the lack of self-love, to fill those voids that are formed during childhood and adolescence. Just to put such a goal, consider it a priority, life-saving and do not wait until you make others happy.
Others in your life will appear and you will want to do well at a time when you feel your own importance. Your appearance - it's just your self-esteem.