How to deal with people with whom you do not want to chat
• How to deal with people with whom you do not want to chat
When you are in the presence of a truly good person, you feel it. They seem easy, positive and radiate a warm light in any situation. But there are people that create stress, and want to quickly escape from their heavy invisible embrace.
Imagine that you went to the reception to an unknown doctor to discuss his recent allergy. You are escorted to the viewing, and you start to expect the physician, full of hope that now it will help you and save you from annoying allergies. The door opened, and walked a woman in a white coat with a slightly gloomy face. She gave you a stern look, and you will immediately feel somehow "wrong" person who came to distract her with his meager problem. She recorded symptoms and has written a simple recipe, which should solve your problem. Short "goodbye," and she walked out the door.
You remain alone, and in his heart there is resentment and bad feeling that you have not paid enough attention and have not allocated a portion of goodness. Consider another situation. You work in a team on a project where each of you offers ideas for improvement. One of the group members are constantly making insulting remarks about all the other ideas - including your own. He was proud of himself, and you slowly begin to get out of yourself.
It was easiest to answer rudeness to rudeness. That is, if you were an unpleasant person. And you do a good person, kind and helpful!
And here is a dilemma: how to deal with unpleasant people, while remaining pleasant himself. Fortunately, psychology always finds solutions. There is a remarkable quality - pliability. It helps to be kind, sympathetic, straightforward, altruistic, gentle and humble.
Psychologists offer 4 tips to help you not to be nervous and do not boil when confronted with people who have behavioral flexibility is virtually nonexistent.
Do not respond to irritability irritability.
It is easy to respond in kind and harder to respond with kindness. But, if you can, you will be able to see the good even in evil person.
Ask yourself if you are migrating your negative on the other.
In other words, maybe it is you are in a bad mood? If so, then the other person deserves the presumption of innocence.
Do not overdo it, trying to cheer up a person.
If you overdo it, you can trigger an opposite reaction, or at least suspicion about your true motives.
Accept the inevitable, if it is really unavoidable.
You can not change your opponent, but you can change your reaction. If you let go of the situation, you do not give the possibility to the aggressor put you out of yourself and spoil the mood.
It would be great if we lived in a world where everyone was white and fluffy. However, there are always people around who we are unpleasant. It should learn not to change people, but simply to communicate with them, while being kind and generous.