How to stop hot and learn to listen to others

• How to stop hot and learn to listen to others

How to stop hot and learn to listen to others

Each of us at least once in his life had to argue. At such moments, emotions get the better of us, and it becomes difficult to cope with them.

But perhaps it is worth giving to others at least a small chance of being heard? We have tried this simple method and assures that as little as 5 minutes can change your relationships with the people around.

I used to be hot-tempered. Their opinion, I consider it important to other people and did not think that I have some problem about it. Whenever anyone said something, which I did not agree, I agree to the debate and impose their point of view. The faster you react, the less you think - this is not always, but often.

In 2007, I spoke at a conference of business innovation in the State of Rhode Island. Richard Saul Wurman, a famous graphic designer and founder of TED lectures, came to talk to me after my speech. It was very flattering and nice.

What do you think, what did I do? Frankly, I behaved like a complete moron: during a speech Wurman I noted those items with which he disagreed. And when the opportunity to talk to him alone, I began to reject his ideas, and to prove his point. His answer changed my life. He just said, "Hey, man, wait 5 minutes." I asked what he meant. Richard explained cool to have your own opinion on certain issues, but it is necessary to give the ideas of others a little time before you start to argue with them. 5 minutes on what to think and not react immediately. And he was absolutely right. I got involved in the debate, in order to prove something, and not to know.

It was a really important point.

Richard thought about this issue throughout his career and has dedicated her nearly 30 years. And I realized that in just a couple of minutes. Of course, it may be wrong, but it is much better to think carefully before show self-righteousness.

Expressing his disagreement, we thus show that all have long known and understood, but the questions we ask, because really want to know anything. Ask more questions.

Learn to think first and then take any action it is not so simple. And I still occasionally flare up, when not to do it. But, believe me, it is really useful and improves life. There are two things that do not need any skills in the world:

Spending other people's money.

Deviation ideas.

It rejects the idea of ​​easy - because it does not require much effort. You can make fun of her. You can simply ignore it, dismiss - simple. It is difficult to defend the idea, think about it, to learn and not sleep at night, to put into practice. Even a good idea can be good, if it has a chance to become a reality.

So the next time you hear about someone else's idea, give it 5 minutes. Think about it a bit before raskritikuete or say that it is too complicated. Probably the way it is, but maybe it's different: it's really worth it.