6 ways to charm any person of special services method
Psychology professor Jack Shafer many years worked as a special agent of the FBI and trained other agents of influence and persuasion techniques that are sometimes unimaginable without personal charm. According to him, there is a golden rule, using which it is possible to win over any man. And it sounds like this: "Get a companion like himself."
How to achieve this? Here are 6 great tips Shafer Jack that he repeatedly tried to work and in life.
1. Take an error
When Jack Shafer starts to conduct a series of lectures at the new stream, he casually makes a mistake in the pronunciation of some words, and allows students to correct themselves. "I pretend to be confused, thank them for their care and correct errors," - said Jack.
This technique he uses to reach 3 goals. Firstly, when the students of the teacher corrects the errors, it allows them to feel more confident. Secondly, they are beginning to more freely communicate with a mentor. Third, they allow themselves to make mistakes.
This technique can be used to win over any man. Mistaken, show your ideal, let people correct themselves. And they will be arranged for you.
2. Talk to people about themselves
We are too busy with themselves and very few people are interested in, which meet. But in order to enjoy the people you need to sincerely interested in them.
"You have forged more friends in two months, if you have a genuine interest in people, more than two years trying to get them interested in himself." (Dale Carnegie)
"When people talk about themselves, it does not matter - in a personal conversation or on social networks, make use of the same pleasure centers in the brain, like delicious food or money." (Robert Lee Holtz) These two quotations show how important it is to talk to people about their affairs, in order to win their position. The interests of their family, biography, children, their views on that and that occasion, and gratitude, sometimes unconscious, you provided.
3. Make a compliment from a third party
Sometimes direct compliments sound too intrusive. Many people are not ready to accept them, or uncomfortable. In such cases it is better to use a compliment from a third party.
For example, you want to ask the accountant Anna Ivanovna about a favor and screw up the following sentence: "Anna, by the way, the personnel manager said that you are the most conscientious worker of our company."
Not necessarily, of course, to praise some professional quality, and can be personal. For example: "Anna Ivanovna, head of the personnel department still remembers your patty with onions, which you have brought a birthday."
4. Do not forget to sympathize with the
Every person is nice to know that he carefully listened to and shared with him his emotions. Of course, if a person begins to talk about the fact that he had a bad day, do not moan: "What a mess, ah you bedolazhechka!" Especially if it's your boss.
It is quite suitable conventional statements like: "Yes, you have today was a difficult day. It happens to everyone, "If a person says that he managed to cope with the difficult, can be summed up as:" It seems that today things you are fine. It's great!"
We have to convince the interlocutor that we share his feelings and understand it. In addition, if you are trying to support a person, it is not necessary to accurately reproduce his words. The interviewee may be guarded; he will perceive the repetition as something unnatural.
5. Ask for a favor
Famous words of Benjamin Franklin: "Those who once made you good, again more likely to help you than the person you have helped yourself." This phenomenon is known as the effect of Benjamin Franklin. The person who has the courtesy to another person grows in his own eyes. That is, if you want to please a man, it is better not to do him a favor, and ask a favor of him. Of course, should not be abused for help.
As quipped the same Franklin: "Guests, like fish, begin to smell bad on the third day." The same can be said about people who are too often asked for favors.
6. Make the man himself praised
Between the usual compliments and flattery, a very fine line, so it's best to make sure that the interlocutor himself praised. For example, someone tells you a story: "In order to close this project, I worked day and night." Here we can say: "Yes, this requires an iron will." Almost guaranteed source answer something like: "Yes, I had to try to deliver the project on time. Of course, I did a great job. Then do not say anything. "
The ability to make people praise himself - it's aerobatics. Practice it, make people pleasant. And you are sure to enjoy.
All of these tips will certainly not appeal to hypocrisy. We just want to help you to please others and to live with all the world.