10 common mistakes parents today
- When I became a mother, everything handed me millions of tips on how I should love their children. But I never let them listen. Because very few people actually know how to bring up not only obedient, but also happy children.
I urge you to take responsibility in this matter for themselves. Your first priority should be happy, not obedient children. Most parents are so much concerned about their children that do not allow them to fall and fill their own cones. They interfere in their lives and over are actively trying to protect from possible troubles of the world.
My favorite parenting rule states: "Prepare your child for the road, but do not take away from him the possibility to go on her own."
Error number 10: You worship your children
Most of us try to be perfect parents. Our children live in much better conditions than lived at their age we are. We satisfy all the whims of his child: he wants a new toy - please !, another chocolate bar - hold! The problem, however, is that children begin to think that the world revolves around them. And the next time your child will not get the desired, then very upset. Much stronger than the boy next door, which is not so "lisp".
We must not bow down to their children. We must love them. For us they are the center of the universe, but because they themselves do not perceive. Otherwise grow selfish. Not getting what you want here and now - this is normal.
Error number 9: Do you think that your children are perfect
Of professionals working with children, I often hear that many parents today are not prepared to take the negative reviews with respect to their offspring. As soon as someone criticizes them, he immediately stumbles upon a wave of rejection or even aggression on the part of parents. Sometimes we need to intervene as quickly as possible so that the situation does not spiral out of control. If school teachers tell you that your child is misbehaving and offends classmates, the findings need to be done in relation to the child, not the teachers.
Error number 8: Your whole life - it's your children
We are proud of our children. When they do something important, we are happy more than if it were our own success. But all should be the measure. You have to have its own life and its own successes. Children need the right example to follow. Become them. If you want your child to live a full life, living it yourself!
Error number 7: You're taking all the decisions for himself
Of course, we all want our child did not get into some nasty history. Of course, we want him to sing the praises of us and respect us for what we want to give him a better life.
The problem, however, is that such a child is not able to think independently. And it falls into one of two extremes: either he can not accept without you even the most trifling decisions, or begins to forget that permissiveness - this is not normal. Do not decide for your child what he should be. This is not the manifestation of love on your part that you want.
Error number 6: Competitive training
Every parent wants his child to be better than others. Better studied, he showed the best athletic performance. Many people are addicted to it so much that their child begins to treat all life as one infinite competition. But our life - it's not just the sweat and struggle. Life - it is also the joy of knowing the moment. It is better to try to instill in children the idea that winning at all costs - it is not the only thing that matters. A man determined not by his victory, and his character.
Error number 5: You are depriving his childhood
What will be happier childhood of your child, the more he grows up a happy man. It is imperative, proven by scientists. The surest way to deprive a child of his childhood - to load his school lessons, classes at the School of Music, studying a foreign language, sports, etc. And we want our children to help us to do housework... But it all you must not forget that everyone should have the right to childhood.
Error number 4: You want to have a "right" and not the "real" child
We are beginning to make plans for their children at the time when they are still in our womb. We dream that they will grow up and will do better than we are.
But the irony is that you can not get to a perfect child, which he dreamed. You get to the only possible person who could be born precisely from you. Do not try to change it what you do not like. Do not force him to become who he alleged to be in your dreams. Let it will be what he wants to be.
Error number 3: You forget that actions speak louder than words
We all want to look your children perfect. We all know that, in order that the child grew up smart and kind, we have to show him an example. But most of us also forget that the moral precepts only work in a single case: if you do follow them.
So the next time you scold your child because it is disrespectful to peers, ask yourself: maybe a child spied a negative example for you?
Error number 2: You judge by their parents, children
When you meet anywhere was ill-mannered child, it will automatically start to think that he crappy parents. But it's not always the case. There is no perfect Adults "plasticine" children. In the world nothing is perfect, as well as personal hopeless. We never know how much other parents worry about their children. Therefore, we do not judge them.
Error number 1: Underestimating the character
Each child has its own character and its own internal moral compass. These things mean a lot more than your attempts to turn your child into a perfect man. Do not try to learn it as it is written in the books of patterns. Each needs its own approach. The main thing to be concerned - this character. The only possibility to give the child his temper - this is to allow him more freedom. Do not hide her child from the real world. Let your love does not become a prison for him!
Author: Kari Kampakis